I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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