i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
