He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
