I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
