So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
