he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
