he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
