Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
