Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
