Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
