it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
