How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
