he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
