Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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