It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its about making memories worth repressing
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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