i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize