Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
