addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize