I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
