We won't sleep together?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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