I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
