How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
