I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
