Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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