Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
