I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
