So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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