if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize