Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
