Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
