accomplished twins. life is a go
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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