You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
