I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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