remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
