Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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