my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think a kid would responsible me up
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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