either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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