For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
