if you like me you must not know who I am
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
