I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am available for nakedness
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
