i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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