you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
