How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
