We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
