that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
