you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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