I am in a vortex of obligation.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
