If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
