i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
