I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
