i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
