I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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