Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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