you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
