She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
