Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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