I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
