the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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