Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
