hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
