thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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