Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
