your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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