i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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