Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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